Wednesday, February 03, 2010
well been home for a few days.
cooped up, just didnt feel like stepping out
penniless jobless. damn down and out now
arghh. hope e interview this sat works out well. cross my fingers
i really hope to go back to work
work hard and excel. give my family a better life :)
well. sort of having some emo time today
scenes just wind pass my mind
e memories, the times spent, 你可能忘了，可是我没忘。
for once, you were my everything
i tot u would be my last.
but things change. and it ended
hmm.. heavy as it is, letting go was e only way.
我恨我爱你
cooped up, just didnt feel like stepping out
penniless jobless. damn down and out now
arghh. hope e interview this sat works out well. cross my fingers
i really hope to go back to work
work hard and excel. give my family a better life :)
well. sort of having some emo time today
scenes just wind pass my mind
e memories, the times spent, 你可能忘了，可是我没忘。
for once, you were my everything
i tot u would be my last.
but things change. and it ended
hmm.. heavy as it is, letting go was e only way.
我恨我爱你
she wrote ;10:03 PM.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
no more being serious.
she'll not fall for anyone again. never
she'll not fall for anyone again. never
she wrote ;7:01 PM.
Friday, January 29, 2010
im still in e midst of recovering from my sickness.
its been 1 week plus since i stopped working
e past week i was packed w worrying bout my health that i had no time to really think about my job.
it was until yesterday that i felt e pain of loss
its like a wake up call for me after putting it a side for a week
my heart ache so badly that my tears just kept falling
i wanted so much to cry out loud but i cant cos i dun wan my family to worry
i couldnt sleep at all n my mind was just filled w alot of what ifs n how.
i tried lying to myself that i could switch a career
but i could do that no more. i cannot pretend anymore
im so tired of pretending to be strong when im not, not at all
when all i do is hide under e sheets n cry alone at night
i want so much to pour everything out n have a good cry in e arms of my loved ones
but i dun have e courage to. i hate to be a burden to others
and thats when i start thinking very negatively
i hated everything bout myself now
my pretence, my disguise
where's that happy girl been..
the girl who can still smile even if the world is falling upon her head
she never bowed down to any difficulties she's been thru
but now she's so on e verge of breakdown
heartbreaks makes her irrationale, makes her do stupid things
but eventually she wakes up n it heals
but this time, its her future, her everything at stake
can she still face e road further down?
im exhausted mentally n physically
its been 1 week plus since i stopped working
e past week i was packed w worrying bout my health that i had no time to really think about my job.
it was until yesterday that i felt e pain of loss
its like a wake up call for me after putting it a side for a week
my heart ache so badly that my tears just kept falling
i wanted so much to cry out loud but i cant cos i dun wan my family to worry
i couldnt sleep at all n my mind was just filled w alot of what ifs n how.
i tried lying to myself that i could switch a career
but i could do that no more. i cannot pretend anymore
im so tired of pretending to be strong when im not, not at all
when all i do is hide under e sheets n cry alone at night
i want so much to pour everything out n have a good cry in e arms of my loved ones
but i dun have e courage to. i hate to be a burden to others
and thats when i start thinking very negatively
i hated everything bout myself now
my pretence, my disguise
where's that happy girl been..
the girl who can still smile even if the world is falling upon her head
she never bowed down to any difficulties she's been thru
but now she's so on e verge of breakdown
heartbreaks makes her irrationale, makes her do stupid things
but eventually she wakes up n it heals
but this time, its her future, her everything at stake
can she still face e road further down?
im exhausted mentally n physically
she wrote ;9:47 PM.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
im officially out of job as of today
well was bombed by the HR before shift started
already heard of the news when my colleagues went for the meeting in the morning
"im sorry, CRA rejected your licence and we have to terminate your services as of today"
how easily spoken can these words be.
so can i say what was promised in Manila are all bullshit and crap
and i have to pay that fucking 8K and i'll not get my pay
now there's so much to be done.
gotta look for my MP on Monday to get him to help me write a letter
and then i have to also write in to HR telling them let me have my pay this month
its really gonna be a tough road ahead.
bills, expenses, mum&dad's allowances (im really stressed up)
one blow after another, how many more blows must i suffer.
well CRA mentioned that the chances of being granted the licence is slim after rejection
but i'll still try no matter what.
never yearn and wanted so much in a job.
its the first time i'm so serious n eager awaiting for the opening
i worked out that this is going to be my lifelong career
worked out the paths im gonna take in the near future
had my goal, dreams and expectations
and in a day, its all gone.
i told myself not to cry especially in front of baby cos i didnt want him to worry
i held back my tears when i saw my colleagues this afternoon
just didnt wanna demoralise them as well
putting up a brave front is terrible when you feel like crying so much
when you are not even brave enough to handle things that are coming your way
its like your world is slowly crashing down and you are lost
but you have to pretend that you are okay and take everything in your stride
i held back my tears from dad as well cos i didnt want him to worry
i know financially he is not able to support me now and he already has loads to worry
i really hate to add on to his burden.
though he didnt mention, but i know deep down he's worried about me.
i know baby's worried about me too and i really feel like a burden
i need to find a part time job at least for now to pull me through this period
its like the biggest setback that i had for now.
having to leave e job that i really liked n worked hard for
im so tired.
she wrote ;6:48 PM.
Friday, December 18, 2009
finally we are leaving pandan gardens for sentosa
i simply cannot wait for that to happen!!
aww. these few days been home early, thanks to elvin
he drove me home everyday. =)
have not been eating really well these days.
i still do have cravings but im controlling.
it doesnt really bother me if im not eating well though
the main thing is i have to shed weight by hook or by crook
so demoralised. depressed. deprived.
gone thru my bills and im so buried by them
i really feel like cutting up my credit cards. hmm.
payday's gonna be rainy day as well.
i suppose i plan to pay off my bills as much as i can
no movies. no good food. no cab n no entertainment..
at least for the next 2 months?
its like the more i delay,the bigger it rolls.
too heavy for me to take it. =(
i hate myself sometimes for not being money wise enough
for not taking money very seriously and spending them like water
i just have to learn..
all stressed once again. i hate this feeling.
i just need some time to balance them up, work them out
well. lets just see how it goes.
she wrote ;11:52 PM.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
i'm clicking and clicking non-stop on f21 website!
OMG. i saw so many checks again. tie my hands up please?
met baby just now after class to watch Storm Warriors.
rating at 2.5/5? i think its not that good.
i hope the next movie will IMPRESS me. PLEASE!
baby's gonna book in camp for reservist later. :(
will only see him on saturday. aww.. im so used to seeing him everyday liao
suddenly i dun get to see him at work for 3 days. wonder how'll that feel.
4D never strike today. argh.. missed by 1 no. again. ASS!
anyways maybe meeting Merissa tmr for Apheresis donation.
i miss the needle. =x
shift's been changed to 11pm to 7am.
i bought some biscuits to bring to class tmr in case i have hunger pangs.
that's all for the moment. gonna go meet baby later n pei him to his camp!!
CIAOS
she wrote ;7:34 PM.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
My blog’s growing mushrooms!! Haha. Been so long since I updated.
Here I am, back in my homeland! After 3 months of being away from home, I understood the meaning of homesick. Its really bad especially when u fall sick there. =( been back for almost 3 weeks. Still craving for local food. I missed my bah chor mee the most!!
Been meeting up with friends and catching up but time is that limited due to shift work. Aww.
Delicia and Eddie were finally hitched on the 28th November. Hope they’ll have a blissful marriage.
And oh ya. Just attended Alan’s wedding last Sunday, 6 December at the Civil Servant Club at Bukit Batok.
That place was fantastic, better than what I’ve expected, and of cos better than that Dragon Gate Restaurant at Harbourfront (bad service and manager fucked up). I loved the wedding photos that they took, the cartoon montage on how they met and the morning highlights of cos. I was really touched and nearly teared when the cartoon montage was on, the little details on how they met, to how they got together, their first date, his first proposal and as well as the second one which was videoed when he proposed at Mount Faber. Awww. How sweet. Honestly, out of 10 weddings that I have worked for, I think only 2-3 have such heartwarming videos.
Good job ALAN.!
Anyways this 3 weeks have been training and training. Roulette will be main game. The calculations can really wear my brain cells out sometimes. But its challenging though and I find that I have improved a lot compared to my ICG days. Been split into different group from baby but I still get to see him everyday except for the part where we have different off days. Hmm. But still baby did fulfill his promise to watch movies with me and he has done so for straight 3 days after class. Thanks baby!!
So I’ve cleared,
- Twilight New Moon
- Zombieland
- Ninja Assassin
Coming Up (Baby’s nightmare)
- Storm Warriors
- Avatar
- Mulan
- Bodyguards and Assassins
- The Perfect Getaway
- The Imaginarium Doctor Parnassus
- Did You Hear About The Morgans
- The Princess and The Frog
Movies 2010
- Sherlock Holmes
- Alvin and The Chipmunks 2
- Daybreakers 2010
- The Treasure Hunter
- Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant
- The Spy Next Door (Jackie Chan)
- Legion
- 20th Century Boys Part 3
- True Legend (Jay Chou)
- Rec 2
- The Cabin In The Woods
- Iron Man 2
- Shrek Forever After
- A Nightmare On Elm Street
- Cats And Dogs: The Revenge Of Kitty Galore
- Salt
- Resident Evil – After life
- The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader
- Gulliver’s Travel
That’s all for the moment. I think its scary but what to do, its like an addiction. Just like how baby is hooked onto smoking right? Haha. Anyways. I wanna take a rest and watch 百万大歌星.
CIAOS
Here I am, back in my homeland! After 3 months of being away from home, I understood the meaning of homesick. Its really bad especially when u fall sick there. =( been back for almost 3 weeks. Still craving for local food. I missed my bah chor mee the most!!
Been meeting up with friends and catching up but time is that limited due to shift work. Aww.
Delicia and Eddie were finally hitched on the 28th November. Hope they’ll have a blissful marriage.
And oh ya. Just attended Alan’s wedding last Sunday, 6 December at the Civil Servant Club at Bukit Batok.
That place was fantastic, better than what I’ve expected, and of cos better than that Dragon Gate Restaurant at Harbourfront (bad service and manager fucked up). I loved the wedding photos that they took, the cartoon montage on how they met and the morning highlights of cos. I was really touched and nearly teared when the cartoon montage was on, the little details on how they met, to how they got together, their first date, his first proposal and as well as the second one which was videoed when he proposed at Mount Faber. Awww. How sweet. Honestly, out of 10 weddings that I have worked for, I think only 2-3 have such heartwarming videos.
Good job ALAN.!
Anyways this 3 weeks have been training and training. Roulette will be main game. The calculations can really wear my brain cells out sometimes. But its challenging though and I find that I have improved a lot compared to my ICG days. Been split into different group from baby but I still get to see him everyday except for the part where we have different off days. Hmm. But still baby did fulfill his promise to watch movies with me and he has done so for straight 3 days after class. Thanks baby!!
So I’ve cleared,
- Twilight New Moon
- Zombieland
- Ninja Assassin
Coming Up (Baby’s nightmare)
- Storm Warriors
- Avatar
- Mulan
- Bodyguards and Assassins
- The Perfect Getaway
- The Imaginarium Doctor Parnassus
- Did You Hear About The Morgans
- The Princess and The Frog
Movies 2010
- Sherlock Holmes
- Alvin and The Chipmunks 2
- Daybreakers 2010
- The Treasure Hunter
- Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant
- The Spy Next Door (Jackie Chan)
- Legion
- 20th Century Boys Part 3
- True Legend (Jay Chou)
- Rec 2
- The Cabin In The Woods
- Iron Man 2
- Shrek Forever After
- A Nightmare On Elm Street
- Cats And Dogs: The Revenge Of Kitty Galore
- Salt
- Resident Evil – After life
- The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader
- Gulliver’s Travel
That’s all for the moment. I think its scary but what to do, its like an addiction. Just like how baby is hooked onto smoking right? Haha. Anyways. I wanna take a rest and watch 百万大歌星.
CIAOS
she wrote ;6:27 PM.
